Post by Mollianne on Nov 3, 2012 13:35:11 GMT -8
{name:Jessa#|#picture:47}
Jessa sunk to the chair the moment Rhys shut the door, her legs incapable of holding her up. Her thoughts were in a messy tangle; nothing made sense and she had no idea what had just happened. Jessa touched her cheek, remembering the warmth of Rhys’ hand. She bit her lip and stared up at the ceiling. Her breathing was shallow, though she could not really explain why. Although Jessa tried to pass it off as anger – and she was still furious with Rhys – it did not feel right to call it that. What it was, she did not know.
More bewildering was why Rhys had acted in such a way. It could only be his drunkenness that had caused him to act so weirdly. Perhaps in his muddled state he had confused her with Selene. It was a ridiculous suggestion for the two women could not look more dissimilar, but it gave her a small amount of comfort. She disliked her foolish thinking but any other possibilities were unthinkable. There was no way… a harsh laugh escaped her lips. She really ought to stop overthinking: Rhys was drunk and that was all there was to it.
She could not pass his words off as inebriated ramblings. There had been truth in everything he had said and, though she still did not forgive him, he had touched somewhere in her heart. That she was the only one who could make him feel bad about his decisions both touched and upset her. She did not want him to think that she was a judgmental bitch who looked down on every choice he made, but if her opinion gave him pause that could only be a good thing.
She shook herself, realising that she, too, cared what Rhys thought of her. Perhaps she had done for a while. After all, she had asked his opinions after one of their evenings at the tavern. Would she have done that if she was really impervious to him? Jessa pressed a hand to her forehead, trying to counteract the headache brewing behind her brows. This was all too confusing.
Her mind trailed back to his touch. Her cheek tingled in memory and before she realised she was once again tracing the skin he had caressed with her fingertips. She closed her eyes. There had been only two people who had ever touched her so intimately, and one did not deserve the mention. The other was her mother, and she could safely say that this was nothing like Rhys’ hand either. Her reaction to him, then, could be borne out of a lack of and longing for affection. Jessa groaned at herself, wishing her brain would stop analysing everything for one moment. It was exhausting her.
Though she really did not want to return to the sitting room and face Rhys, she could not leave the friends she had invited in the lurch. At the same time, she had unfinished business in the library. There was no point in finding the book if she would just hide it away. If she did that she would need more of Rhys’ blood, and she could not punch him in the nose again. Sighing, she pushed away her thoughts and ignored her racing heart. Pulling the book towards her, she flicked through it, noting family names she recognised. Though the wording was convoluted, she was sure she would be able to push through it with a bit of consideration. She wrote out a few pages and then decided if she stayed much longer she would certainly be missed.
The drawer was locked. Jessa panicked. She picked up the pins and nearly dropped them. The first time she had unlocked the drawer it had been pure luck, she was sure. The only consolation she had was that, once the book was inside, no one would know she had taken it if the draw was self-locking. She bent down and fumbled with the pins, trying to replicate her previous actions. For a long time – long enough for everyone to grow suspicious – it did not seem to work, but with a final push the lock clicked open. She looked down in wonder, feeling more tired than someone should when picking a lock. Pushing the thought from her head, she put the book back and shut the draw. She left the library without looking back, taking her mother’s box, the pins and her notes with her.
She dropped everything off in her room and then took a moment to calm herself. When she felt she would be able to see Rhys, she straightened her dress and then went downstairs. She could hear voices from the sitting room.
“Where were you? Are you okay?” Freya cried upon seeing her. The woman was much more drunk than she had been when she left. Jessa realised it had been hours. She rubbed at her eyes and carefully avoided Rhys’ gaze.
“I’m okay. I just needed some time to recover from… things,” she said vaguely. Freya nodded, though she looked bewildered.
“Are you and Rhys okay now? He said he apologised to you,” Freya asked, making room for Jessa on the sofa beside her. In her absence, the group had merged into one. Opposite her was Rhys. She held his gaze for a moment and then looked down at her feet, playing with her hands in her lap.
“It’s… okay, I suppose,” she said, though it was not.