Calling all University Students!

[Deleted]

Since a lot of people on this site are in university and I'm in the midst of a super difficult decision I thought I would come here for some advice about where to live while in university.

Where does everyone at wander live? In student housing, alone or with parents? And how is it? If you live at home, do you like it? Do you wish you could have lived by yourself somewhere, particularily abroad if you'd had the chance? And if you do live away from home was it hard or do you really like it? [/question spam]

and here's the details on my own personal dilemma, if anyone would like to know. xD

SPOILER: Click to show

I'm starting university in the fall and I've applied to the University of Alberta and VIA University College, both to engineering. The University of Alberta is probably a 20-30minute drive from my house so I could either drive there (although parking is ridiculously expensive) or drive to the transit station and then take a bus the rest of the way. Basically I would be able to live at home however with tuition and books the estimated cost is between 5-6k each year. I might get a few scholarships but ultimately not enough to pay for it all. I'd have to go into the co-op program which enables me to work for a few months and then go to school (they assign you a place to work that's related to engineering) and then I would be able to pay for my tuition. However getting a bachelors degree that way takes an extra year so if I wanted a masters degree in engineering it would take 7 years and if i only got a bachelors it would take 5 and approximately 5-6k each year assuming the prices stay the same.

The other choice I have is to go to VIA University College in Denmark. Because I have dual citizenship (both Danish and Canadian), my tuition is free in Denmark. In addition to that I get a monthly living allowance (called SU payments) so although I'd probably have to work part time to make ends meet a little easier- which I already do here so that's not really that different- I'd essentially finish university debt free. Plus their engineering bachelor is entirely in english and is only 3.5 years, including one semester working abroad as an intern in some kind of engineering job. Then if I wanted a masters I could go to any university in Denmark (they have many more masters degrees in english), including University of Copenhagen and be done in another 2 years.

I'd be able to get my own apartment with my own kitchen and bathroom so I wouldn't have to share unless I chose that. It's in a giant student housing building so there would be about 300 or so students living in the same building. Even though it seems like an amazing opportunity and I would love to go... I am absolutely terrified to leave. The homesickness and loneliness and leaving my family. I guess everyone does it at one point and maybe that's something I just have to get over. And my entire extended family lives in Denmark so it's not as though I would be alone or without an support system for holidays or if anything went wrong.

[Rosabeth]

For your situation I'd say, without question, go to Demark. That sounds like an incredible opportunity in every way that so few people in the world get that it's something I feel like you really can't let pass. However, I do understand your concerns when it comes to the distance, for that's certainly a long ways from home. I suppose I can give you my own experiences as something to think about, for though I hardly left the country I too went a long way from home for University so I know what it's like to live without your family.

I'm from Utah but I go to Michigan State University, a good 1,600 miles away and a full 24 hour drive (or about 4 hours if flying). It's not near the distance as there is between Alberta and Demark, but still, it's significant. I'm currently in my second semester so I've made it one semester which has given me a good idea of what it's like to truly live on your own. I was only able to go home once - Christmas Break - and for the rest I was left on my own. For Thanksgiving I was able to visit some family that live close by, but I never see them aside from holidays, so having family close by doesn't really make you feel any closer to family, in my opinion, just because your parents/siblings aren't there.

I've never been a homesick sort of person (aside from when I was quite young) so I always knew I wanted to go to school far, far away. I would have loved to go out of the country but the expenses would have been insane, so instead I'm just planning on doing study abroad for that. I can definitively say that, in the few months I've been out here, moving away from home is by far the best decision I've ever made. Sure, you get the occassional lonely day, but I found that aside from one day the second week in when I cried and this past week when I've had the flu, I really haven't missed my family at all. You get so caught up in school life that you really don't think of family that much, and being able to call/skype/text helps if you just need some contact. You'll make so many friends and have so much to do that you'll begin to wonder why you ever thought you'd miss your family that much. I'm extremely close to both of my parents too, so it's not like going away was easy because I didn't like my parents because that simply wasn't the case.

Living on campus is a definite must in my mind, if only because it forces you to immerse in "university life." It's a very different feel living away from your parents where really no one can tell you what to do and when to do it. On one hand that kind of sucks, seeing as when something goes wrong it's entirely on you, but on the other hand you mature extra quickly and it's a great opportunity to learn how to live with others and how to be self sufficient.

The last thing I want to mention is price. It sounds like your time/money exchange is vastly better in Demark, and I feel like this is a selling point for a lot of reasons. A main reason I'm where I am now is because MSU offered me a ton of scholarships, enough to make it cheaper for me to attend here than to attend my local university. This way, my parents can pay for the rest of my education and I'll graduate in four years debt free which will be a huge burden off the shoulders of both my parents and I. I can't stress enough how important having as little debt as possible is for the long run, and having one less thing to worry about while in school will only make everything that much easier.

So yes, I'd definitely say take that leap and go to Denmark, but of course it's a personal decision and all your concerns are valid. I'd just say don't talk yourself out of a great opportunity out of fear or reluctance. Homesickness is awful and loneliness will always be there, but I promise you these feelings are so much less than you'd expect once you discover the greatness of living on your own.

[Mikkay]

Rosabeth said it all, but I will definitely emphasize the living on campus part. I lived on campus for three years, and even though I couldn't love my apartment more, sometimes I still miss it. I loved being able to open my door and just talk to anyone who walked by. I loved the location of my dorm, the activities, the ice cream in the dining hall, and the buses right outside the front door. It's the best way to immerse yourself, and the easiest way to make friends.

That being said, I'm not all that far away from home. Eleven minutes, actually, to get to my stepmom's house. I desperately wish I had studied abroad for a semester, if only to push myself away from this bubble. Really, what you have sounds like an incredible opportunity, and I think you should go for it. What's the worst that could happen? You change your mind and come home and go to Alberta? From what I could tell, you had a blast when you went a few weeks ago. Even if vacationing is different from living, it sounds like you loved it there and want to go back. So go back. Go and study, and if it doesn't work out, then go back to Canada. This might be one of those "if I don't do it I'll regret it for the rest of my life" scenarios--which is so intimidating--but it's all up to you.

Something that got me through the homesickness my first few weeks (even though I wasn't that far away) was having the support and love of everybody on the old forum. It's something I told Kelsey last night--she's got me whether she's at home or at school. You'll have this forum in Canada or in Denmark, and your family and friends will only be an email or phone call away. You might be physically alone, but that's it, really. We've got you covered on the rest. *hugs*

Good luck with your decision! Either way you go, it's such an exciting time. Enjoy it. :3

[Deleted]

Thank you guys so much <3

I really appreciated reading your input, it meant a lot to me to be able to hear from others in university. I even read these to my mom xD [/dork]. I think this ultimately helped me make up my mind a lot. I think it would be stupid not to go and at least try it for one semester- worst case scenario I just come home again. And you're so right mikkay- when I'm lonely I'll always have Wander. (: